You Are Not
Hard to Love
The 90 minute EFT Tapping masterclass replay to un-condition your fear response of being loved at the source...
You were never hard to love.
You were just under-loved.
And somewhere along the way, you confused the two.
For most of us, the unchosen wound didn't arrive in one big, dramatic moment. It arrived in a thousand tiny ones. The caregiver who was in the room but not in the room. The parent who gave too much of themselves to make up for the one who gave nothing, until there was nothing left of them either. The partner who stayed but never landed. The friendship you were always the bigger contributor in. The version of love you grew up watching that taught you love had to be earned, performed for, kept quiet about, or fought for.
Your nervous system was there for all of it. And it didn't file it as a memory — it filed it as a fact. As real as the floor under your feet. As real as your own name. I am hard to love. I am the problem. If I were different, they would have stayed. If I were easier, smaller, lighter, less — they would have chosen me.
And once your body filed that, it started running everything from underneath.
It's why you over-give and call it generosity. It's why you perform in every room you walk into, editing yourself depending on who's watching. It's why you flinch at compliments and brace at love and pick people who only have one foot in, because their inconsistency feels familiar and consistency feels unsafe. It's why you became the chameleon — small here, big there, funny over there — so that no version of you would ever be too much or too little for the people whose love you needed to survive.
And you've called that a strength. Adaptable. Easy. Low-maintenance. Chosen. But underneath the performance is a body that has never once been allowed to stop auditioning.
You've tried to think your way out of it. You know your patterns better than your therapist does. You've read every book, done every course, written the affirmations, put them on the mirror, said them out loud, cried the cathartic cry, had the breakthrough — and woken up the next morning still bracing.
That's not because you're broken. That's not because you didn't do it right. It's because the unchosen wound was never a thought. It was a sensation. It was your body deciding, somewhere very young or somewhere very recently, that being fully you was not safe. That love had a price. That you had to keep negotiating your worth with people who couldn't afford you in the first place.
You cannot affirm your way out of a wound that lives below language. You cannot mindset-shift a nervous system that learned the shape of love from people whose own self-love had limits. The body doesn't speak in affirmations. It speaks in sensations, in patterns, in the way your shoulders hunch when someone walks into the room.
And the only way out of it is through it — in the body, with the body, on the body's terms.
That's what this workshop is.
This is for you
if any of this is true.
This is for you
If you've been quietly carrying it for years.
- You over-give in every relationship and call it generosity, but underneath it's fear that if you stopped, they'd leave.
- You've done the inner work mentally — and you can explain your patterns better than your therapist — but your body is still in the same loop.
- You're the one who keeps everyone else regulated, and you can't remember the last time someone held space for you.
- You shrink, edit, and shape-shift in different rooms because the full version of you was once rejected and you decided never again.
- You don't trust good love when it shows up. You wait for it to flinch.
- You're ready to do the work in your nervous system, not just on a journal page.
This isn't for you
If you're not in a place for somatic work right now.
- You're in an active mental health crisis and need 1:1 clinical support — this isn't a substitute for that.
- You want a quick fix and aren't open to feeling something move through your body.
- You only want intellectual frameworks and not somatic work — this is body-led.
- You believe healing should be silent, neat, and tearless. This work can be tender.
- You're looking for someone to tell you what's wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you.
What we actually do together.
We make the body safe before we go anywhere near the wound.
The work doesn't begin with the pain. It begins with priming your nervous system into safety, so that when we do go to the unchosen wound, your body isn't bracing — it's open. We tap the side of the hand and the top of the head until your body knows: this is a safe place to land.
We locate where the wound actually lives in your body.
Not where you think it lives. Where it actually lives. For some people it's the chest. For others, the back of the head, the throat, the stomach. We map it. We rate it. We give it a number on a scale — because the body needs evidence, not theory.
We meet the performer.
The version of you that learned to be easy, smaller, lighter, funnier, quieter — whoever the room needed — so people would stay. We thank her. And then we slowly take her off duty. The chameleon was never your authentic self. She was your bodyguard.
We do the inner child visualisation.
This is the part most people tell me cracked something open they didn't know was still locked. We go to the place inside you where the youngest version of you has been waiting. We bring her home. We make a promise to her that you will never break again: I choose you now.
We rewrite the belief at the nervous system level.
We don't just release the old belief — we install a new one in its place. I am chosen by default. I am safe to receive love without earning it. I am no longer loyal to suffering. We tap it in until your body files it as fact, the same way it once filed I am hard to love.
We close the loop and integrate.
EFT is not just opening a wound and walking away — that's how people get hurt. We always close. We integrate. You leave the workshop in a regulated nervous system state, with aftercare instructions for the 6–8 hours that follow, when your body is rewiring quietly in the background.
What EFT tapping actually does.
EFT — Emotional Freedom Technique — is gentle physical tapping on specific points on the face, chest, and hands, while speaking the truth of what your body is feeling. It looks simple. What's happening underneath isn't.
What it does to your body
The tapping signals your body out of a sympathetic stress response and into the parasympathetic state — the place where the body can actually integrate, instead of bracing. Cortisol drops. The amygdala softens its grip.
That's why you can speak the hardest truth of your life while tapping and feel it move through, instead of getting stuck in your throat.
What it does to the belief
Beliefs like I am hard to love aren't ideas. They're files your nervous system has indexed as fact. You can't argue them out, because the body wasn't argued into them — it absorbed them.
Tapping is exposure therapy without the overwhelm. Your body can finally process what it never had the safety to process the first time.
What it does to your patterns
When the wound is no longer running the show, the patterns that grew out of it begin to unhook. The over-giving. The performing. The choosing of unavailable people.
You don't have to force yourself to stop. The behaviour was downstream of the wound. Heal the wound and the body stops needing the protection.
What it doesn't do
It doesn't bypass anything. It doesn't tell you to think positive. It doesn't gaslight your nervous system into pretending the wound wasn't there.
It honours the wound. It speaks its truth out loud. And then it gives the body permission to put it down.
Why I built this with EFT at the centre.
"Talk therapy gave me language for what was wrong with me. EFT gave me the body to live without it."
I'm a certified EFT practitioner, a nervous system coach, and a career firefighter with Fire and Rescue NSW. I have spent a decade now in the intersection of trauma, the nervous system, and the body — both as a clinician and as someone who has lived in a hypervigilant, dysregulated body herself.
I tried everything else first. Talk therapy. Mindset work. Affirmations. Breathwork. Books I underlined into oblivion. Some of it helped. None of it released the unchosen wound.
The reason is simple, and the science backs it: trauma is not stored as a memory. It's stored as a sensation in the body. You can know the story of what happened to you and still live inside the physiology of it for the rest of your life. That is what most "healing" misses. We talk to the mind. The mind is not where the wound lives.
EFT goes directly to the place the wound is stored. It does it gently. It does it with consent — you are always in charge of what comes up and how far you go. And it does it with the body's own intelligence, not against it.
That's why this is the method. Not because it's trendy. Because it actually reaches the place that needs reaching.
I'll see you in the room.
Demi —
YOU ARE NOT HARD TO LOVE is a 90-minute EFT tapping workshop that goes to the place affirmations can't reach - your nervous system, and releases the unchosen wound at its root.
You'll locate where the wound lives in your body right now. You'll meet the performer, the version of you that learned to be easy, small, and quiet so people would stay, you'll meet the person underneath. You'll reconnect with your inner child and build a new belief system...
No EFT experience needed for this because every tap is guided.
